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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I miss my john I love him lots

I had a great time chatting with my darling today. I love him and I miss him so much. 4 months left and he will gonna be here with me again. I feel so excited to see him again and worried at the same time because I dunno where else can I tour him just within the boundery of Socsargen area or just 2 to 3 hrs drive from here. I do have some idea where to bring him but we can't just go to this certain place when its just me and him for over night or so because my parents are worried about us over something wrong happened. I don't want a chaperon anyway... hehe

I was thinking lately about what other people see for their future. I can't imagine myself being worldly. I never think or dream of being so wealthy here on earth. I wanna be rich in good works and being humble so when times come that I need to return back my life to God, I will have this reward to live with Him in His kingdom which we called Heaven.

I live here on earth to survive all the trials that will possibly come along my way. When I met my boyfriend John, I had this directions in life to love him eternally and build a family with him and to raise our future offspring's in the right path and close to God. I dreamed to have a happy family of my own one day just like what I have in my family here. I want my children to grow with fear and high respect to God. I want them to put God in the center of their life. I want my darling john also to be close to God so even when we are in our everlasting life we will still be living together. hehe

Money is not everything like what my darling often said to me. If you have lots of it, some people would think or presumed negative about you or it might gonna change your personality into worst? But to think about it, why would you change into worst when you get rich? is that mean you let your self controlled over money? do you mean you are out of your self and you just let the earthly things manipulated you? and when you die? you will go directly to hell. So, would you prefer being a hypocrite when you get so wealthy? Money for me is just my slave not a thing that can control or manipulate to change me into having a bad attitude. So if I get rich, its just nothing for me. Money can't bug me up to change my being me. I wanna live in a humble life.
Lots of people are better than me and smarter than me and richer but I don't mind because I don't care about what they have. They got their own lives and I got my own. I don't have time to get insecure of what they have because its not my nature to mind about it. I want to keep my love of my life, my family and friends forever close to me. To change into worst is to loose them also. I don't want it to happened and never it will happened because God is always with me who will guide me all the way to do good things in my fellow mankind. Yes, sometimes we commit mistakes and hurt someone else feelings, but nobody is perfect we do sometimes commit sins into each one of us and specially to God but while we are here on earth we have to be strong and always seek Gods help to guide us always and enlightened us the right thing to do. Right?!

I'm getting sleepy.. i'll sign off now. I love you lots my Dearest John. Kisses mmwahhh! till then.


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